Sunday, 23 October 2011

Can't paint so thought I'd do...A battle report?

So as you know Jim came around the other Thursday to save me some petrol and test out my theory that the Ork codex is still the best 40k codex written. Anyway, game was a "my house your house" pitched battle.

In the green corner, weighing in at 172 models, it's the Orks!  5 units of 30 choppa boyz inc 2 big shootas and a Nob with powerklaw and bosspole, 1 unit of 20 shoota boyz with 3 big shootas and a Nob with bosspole, A Big Mek with Kustom Forcefield, Burna, 'Eavy Armour and Cybork body and finally a Weirdboy (upgraded to a Warphead)

In the purple/black corner, weighing in at approximately 50 models, it's the Dark Eldar!  Not sure of Jim's actual composition, but seeing as it was wrong on one crucial point I don't think it matters that much anyway...

...observe if you will the rather large unit of proxied models occupying the centre of the image above.  Jim's contention was that this was a legal unit comprising of 4 Beastmasters (the Nurgle Marines), 10 Kymerae (The Space Marines), 2 Clawed Fiends (the 2 Obliterators), 10 Razorwing Flocks (The SM Terminators).  Post-game, I discovered that each Beastmaster may take one of the following: 
0-5 Kymerae, 0-1 Clawed fiend or 0-2 Razorwing flocks
The unit might have been a little less indestructable if it had followed these rules... 

Anyway, Jim stole first turn with Spawny Vect special rule and proceeded to blast away at the first Ork mob causing a few casualties, but the 4+ cover save for being so spread out and blocking LoS worked out nicely.  My first turn brought the realisation I'd deployed incorrectly on the right flank and had to arse about fixing the problem, whilst dealing with a shedload of crap difficult terrain tests. Onto the shooting phase and probably my stupid decision of the game. Say you roll a "Waargh!" for the random psychic power but aren't in assault range to benefit from it, do you a) say sod it, they may as well run or b) use the Warphead re-roll "because there's only a 1 in 6 chance of rolling a Mi 'ead hurtz result"?
I went for b and beat the odds!  Two models dead from a nearby unit but fortunately failed to wound the Weirdboy. 

Turn 2: More shooting from Jim, this time a little more effective and a fleet/assault from the beasties to mop up the remaining models of the unit.  My turn and I poured on the combined fire-power of two pretty much full strength units of boyz onto the beasts, around 45 slugga and 15 big shoota shots. 24 hits! 14 wounds! Stupid multi-wound models and 4+ Inv saves!  3 models removed as casualties.  My assault and 25+ orks swamp into combat, Jim has the higher initiative (min 5!) and goes first, causing 17 unsaved wounds, I cause 4 in response and have to take 13 6+ armour saves for being fearless.  11 boyz and a Nob becomes 2 boyz and a Nob on one wound.  

Turn 3:  Jim's shooting is pretty ineffectual so we go straight into combat and three seconds later the remnants of a second unit are removed.  My turn and I throw a third unit at the Beastmaster unit, including the Big Mek.  On the other flank I start to sneak pretty much unopposed toward Jim's objective.  Shooting phase sees the Weirdboy Zzap! a Talon only for it to pass an invulnerable save and the boyz take down a few more of the beast pack.  Now's where I get sneaky,  under the rules characters must be moved into combat where possible but as the Big Mek couldn't get into base to base I surrounded him with a few blockers and kept him out of the combat so the beasts would be held up for at least another turn.  Not that it mattered, with the loss of most of his Kymeares Jim couldn't make the saves and lost combat, "Run away you dogs!".

Turn 4:  Jim failed to rally the beasts who fled another 3D6" and so took revenge on the boyz who made them run blasting them into near enough oblivion! Only the Nob and the Big Mek survived unscathed and easily passed their Ld test. (see below).  My turn and the Nob and Big Mek split up to take out the Talons, the Shoota boyz with the Weird boy got in range of the Talon and immobilised it, I then rolled for Psychic powers and got teleport.  The boyz were put on the other side of the central building then scattered towards the Beasts! Fortunately, they ended up 4" away but had already used up their shooting.  I declared the Waargh at this point and moved the flanking unit closer to the objective and the Big Mek and the Nob towards their respective targets, the Nob tore apart one Talon but the Big Mek was ineffectual against the other.

Turn 5:  Jim concentrated absolutely everything onto the destruction of the Weirdboy's unit, setting up for a massed assault then proceeded to take me down to 5 models with shooting, so I promptly failed the Ld test and ran away.  Jim wasn't going to let me get away though and assaulted the fleeing models with one unit bringing them back into the game.  On the board edge the Big Mek fell to shooting from the Talon's occupants but was avenged by a very angry Nob. (Jim forgot they had two wounds so was a bit upset when the Nob chopped his remaining models into little pieces)
My turn and I moved my boyz into range of Jim's objective and with a big smile asked Jim why he hadn't left a unit to contest it?  His face fell and butchering the Weirdboy did little to improve his mood.

Dice roll time, on a 1 or 2 the game was mine.  Rolls, stops, cocked on 1 and 2. Re-roll 3. Arse!

Turn 6:  Jim quickly moves everything to reclaim his objective, though his shooting is crap.  Assault and Vect is within 6" if he moved through difficult terrain otherwise he can't get into base to base.  Jim gets confused and moves him into the middle of the assault then surrounds him like I did the Big Mek earlier.  He just nerfed Vect in the most important phase of the game!  Luckily for him he wins the first round, just!

My turn and all I need is for one model to survive.  It doesn't happen, Vect gets into combat and pretty much butchers the unit on his own.

Game over and it's a draw (what a surprise), I have 230pts left (plus the Nob on the other flank) on the board but at no point was Jim even challenging for my objective.  

Pros and cons of the Ork Horde army:

Pros: 1500pts gets you a pretty much unstoppable 6 Troop and 2 HQ, higher point games just mean you're adding gravy.

Cons:  It takes forever to play a game! 20 minutes for deployment and 2 and a half hours in total.  That said, it was relaxed but I don't think I could finish the game in under an hour and half.


  1. We should no longer allow Jimbo to proxy. And his lists should be checked before battle. He always lets something through that's wrong or just plain dirty!
    I don't know how they are going to fix 40k in the next edition. As most of the stupid rules are in the codices. Feel no pain deffo needs nerfing and cover rules...

  2. So the (cheaphammer) lesson I seem to learning here is that if I want to get into 40K pick (Dark)Eldar and only pay for ~1/3 of the models as compared to Orks?